Directing Notes from MICROAGGRESSIONS S2
literally moments after wrap! amazing crew (+ amazing actor D’vonte Robinson)
Oh man, just wrapped Season 2 of Microaggressions! I am a mix of exhaustion and elation. For an underfunded 5 - day shoot that included out-of-town actors, non-actors, no art department and a tiny crew, I could not be more joyful about the way things went. Dicky Dahl asked me at the end if it all cohered to my vision. I had to think about that for a second (in part b/c I felt awkward referring to my vision w/o sounding pretentious) but then answered that I don’t see vision as a fixed thing anymore; vision has to be a fluid, the second you bring something into the real world, whether by casting, by weather, by location, it always always deviates from your original conceptual idea. I’ve done enough of these to now become comfortable with that and allow for change and deviation, recognizing that vision is a malleable thing, always evolving, always broadening. Every day on this show fell within the boundaries of my original vision, so it was a win. As long as you can keep the whole moving production/narrative apparatus between those boundaries you’re in a good spot. It’s tricky though b/c yes you have to be flexible but you also have to be cognizant of the lines/moments/details that absolutely cannot be deviated from and be able to make them happen one way or another. Here are a few directing bullet points from this show (really for me to remember on upcoming shoots):
Cast correctly. This is so so vital. It’s sometimes hard to know in the abstraction and toil of pre production if a certain person feels 100% right or not (even harder in the zoom era) and it is largely an intuitive enterprise. But if you do it right there is not much to say to the actors on set, short of making sure the energy level is right and showing them their marks. Built into this is the idea that you should also take risks in casting. I took a couple different risks on this one, driven by intuition partly and by tightly-crossed-fingers and hit the jackpot. Also, I cast one of my oldest friends from high school in one of the leads (known her for 30 plus years!) and a friend from college as well (who I hadn’t had contact with for 25 years). Don’t get me wrong, they both brought the goods, were A+, and I didn’t cast them solely on our shared history (but it was a factor, partially b/c I am prone to nostalgia.) More than anything I am feeling so positive about the range of performers that came together for this. Definitely elevated the project beyond what I anticipated. Cannot wait to see these actors and performances all cut together.
Get a producer. I did not have a producer on this and yet again was splitting duties between the capturing the narrative and getting enmeshed in the details related to production of the project. I’ve produced or co-produced everything to date and this has always occurred out of necessity, b/c the project wouldn’t get made if I didn’t wear multiple hats and strain to straddle different worlds (if you’ll forgive the imagery). But I am at the point where I really need to not worry about SAG or craft services or flights or lunch management or insurance any longer. I mean, I can if i have to so I’m always grateful for the experience but that stuff all strips my focus from the narrative, from what we are shooting, instead forcing me to consider how we are assembling the resources to shoot. I am happy to have made it to the finish line on this but man it took a toll on me, manifesting mainly in anxiety and exhaustion.
Sometimes new is good. I am a creature of habit. I am also a creature of not ever ever going outside my comfort zone, both professionally and personally. Alas, due to a series of variables shifting, I found myself in the spot of either not making this now or making it now but with some different people on crew. I rolled the dice and went with the latter even though it put me in an uncomfortable, unknown zone. I mean, this happens everyday on productions so it’s not like some groundbreaking thing, but for me personally it was a step forward. (Peripherally related sidebar: I have not had alcohol in almost a year and I attribute it to helping me make some stretches this year, helping me see the cul-de-sacs and snags I’ve fallen prey to in previous outings. ) I bit the bullet on this and was oh so glad I did. Being in a new situation with new people really helped reframe the focus of each day, of each setup, of each shot. I came to set each day in a different headspace than previous shoots as a result. Big props to DP Sean Conley who was keyed into the project narrative from the outset and was very easy to collaborate with. And props to everyone else on this show too. I’ll give them all individual shout-outs in the coming weeks. It was a great mix of acumen and knowledge and personality on this show.
Write with the shoot in mind but stay flexible. I wrote the screenplay this season toward locations I knew we could get. I designed two whole episodes to be shot in different parts of my house. I designed one episode to be shot at my parents’ house and one to be shot at a downtown building I thought I could get entry to. That left just 2 episode locations to secure. One was originally written as a campground at the ocean but as the shoot approached it was revised to a campground at a river. We could have sought that out but since there’s a creek near my house that I run by frequently we shot there, guerilla-style. The other episode had a revolving series of possibilities. It was just a house exterior which shouldn’t be that difficult to find but it became a challenge b/c the particulars of the house and yard were important to what happens on screen. It couldn’t just be anywhere. First thing we considered was a friend’s house in SW Portland but the light was not optimum and if we had to move the shoot time then we had to move plane flights for an actor and who wants to get into that business? Next up was another friend’s house very near mine, which would be great for staging purposes, but the production time was not optimum for them since they have a life and kids to manage. At last, slightly out of desperation, I reached out to a crew member, our very outstanding script supervisor Stacy Brewster (who has a book coming out next month that you can/will pre-order here) who very generously allowed us to shoot at his home. This location, though selected with the clock ticking, ended up being exactly right and impacted the shoot and the narrative in a perfect way.
Stay open and trust yourself. This is a mantra we’ve been trying to express to our son at his basketball games. (with my deep apologies for relying on sports metaphors.) Stay open and trust yourself. Open means turn toward the ball, open means put your arms up, open means your body is ready for whatever might happen. Trust yourself means, you were good enough to get here, trust yourself means even if you miss the layup keep going, trust yourself means you are doing exactly what you want to do so find the joy in it regardless of outcome. Stay open and trust yourself. You can control the energy and you can control the enthusiasm but you cannot control the outcome. Stay open and trust yourself.
DO NOT STOP. I’m saying this one out loud for the me of the next project (maybe a short film, maybe a feature, depends on financing) and for the me of 25 years ago (wherever in space-time his clueless ambition-driven self may be now, probably writing in his journal and deriding modern cinema and smoking borrowed cigarettes): The road is long and serpentine and rife with endless obstacles, hazards, and infinite opportunities to pull out everywhere but whatever you do, do not stop. If you heed nothing else, do not stop. Do not fall prey to the allure of rejoining the masses or the comforts of turning your back on this road, even though it has no outward reward and sometimes literally nothing to urge or propel you forward but your own automated repeated footsteps. Do not relent. Do not give in. Do not give up. Do not quit. Do not stop.
That’s it for now. On to post-production. Drives with audio/picture will soon make way to Evonne in Los Angeles and we’ll go from there. More updates to come.
about to roll Day 2; my son watching Jason Esquerra in monitor while 1st AC Anda Arroway and sound tech Dicky Dahl look on.
